H U G E Crash!!!

It seems that Bug doesn't think that mommy has enough worry these days. On Sunday evening the family spent some time downstairs together. Daddy was making a "milk" box for our front porch (for milk delivery) since the wind rips the cover off every cooler we have placed out there, Gage floated between helping daddy, playing out back, chasing the dogs, etc etc etc, Mommy was grilling some steaks and Reece was in her walker on the back porch. I have used the walker to keep her out of trouble downstairs in the past...those days are OVER!!! I usually lay the hose around the edge of the patio to corral her on the concrete. She has gotten much taller & much stronger. I just knew in the back of my mind this would be a problem 'cause I made Daddy watch her every time I was distracted or had to grab something...I turned to flip the steaks and that's when I heard the cry! I turned in time to see our baby hurling down the rockiest, steepest, worst hill near our patio, stuck in the walker, flipping, flailing until I was flying myself to rescue her. I had no idea what I would find when I pulled her out of the walker from a face down position in the dirt and my stomach had crushed my heart on it's way to my throat. She had a mouth full of dirt/gravel and road-rash from above her hair line on her left side down to her chin with various other nicks (other side of her forehead, back of her arm, etc). There was one scrape I thought was deep enough to start a flow of blood (you know head wounds) but it remained just a scrape. I got the rocks out of her mouth, put ice on the left side of her head/face, Daddy got her a popsicle and while I rocked her I felt like the worst mother on the face of the earth. I just knew it but I left her in there anyway. Can I tell you the vision of her going down that hill will haunt me for the rest of my life. She is a trooper. She didn't cry hard for long and soon was her entertaining self at dinner. Her head was sore & other than whimpers through the night (when I assume she rolled to that side of her head) she did amazing. The next morning I could tell she had some discomfort but 15min after Ibuprofen she was back to normal. She has daddy's QUICK healing cause her injuries look so much better...which helps lessen mommy's guilt and sadness every time I look at her. At my lowest, she did give me a dose of laughter...when I pulled the ice off her head she looked at me and said "doh" (like Homer Simpson) which is what we say when she bonks her head. The tears & laughter flowed hard for a moment. Later, when we looked out the window (at the scene of the accident) she said "boom, boom, boom". Talk about kicking me right in the gut! Yes, honey that is where you boom, boom, boom crashed. Thank god for Daddy, he could not have been more supportive for the wrecked mommy and Bug (the little pistol) still loves me!

It is amazing how these little people can rip your heart out, fill it so much you think it will burst, drive you more mad than you ever thought possible and all you want is more! It is a love you cannot describe, duplicate or even understand sometimes. I can't even remember the person I was before I was mommy. I remember what we did, where we went, but can't understand what filled my life with importance w/out kids.